'The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.'
-Helen Hayes (at 73)
'I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.'
'Mammogram - Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.'
'A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.'
'Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.'
'Old age ain't no place for sissies.'
- Bette Davis
'A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.'
'The phrase "working mother" - is redundant.'
'Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.'
'Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.'
'I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.'
'If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.'
'I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb and I'm also not blonde.'
'You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.'
'If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them.'
'I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.'
'I think-therefore I'm single.'
'When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.'
'Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.'
'I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.'
'I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night.'
'If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?'
'I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.'
-Zsa Zsa Gabor
'Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.'